It’s our nature to crave for  enlightenment or answers about the life, future, seek an ongoing sense of security, and look for confirmation that life goes on after death. These desires have made most of us curious about psychic readings at one point or another.

Over the past decade, I have had the wonderful opportunity to perform psychic readings on hundreds of people. However, I have also sat on the flip side and been the receiver of countless consults by a number of different psychics. Over time, I’ve realized that every reading boils down to the same core concepts, and their answers all share a few common threads.A great psychic will be able to help you navigate your own unique issues specifically, but understanding these common threads will empower you to move forward with confidence. 

Here are five things psychics want you to know:

1. You have to love yourself.

This is seriously step numero uno. If you’re having problems in a relationship, having trouble setting boundaries, or are working on some previous trauma, you have to start loving yourself. Doing so will allow you to let go of unhealthy circumstances in your life and empower you to make good choices going forward. In the end, it doesn’t matter if you’re single, in an amazing relationship, struggling financially, or a millionaire. If you love yourself, you will be happy.

Put It to Use: Allow time for some sacred self-care like meditating, taking a bath with essential oils, or even pursuing a new hobby that interests you. Practice positive affirmations such as, “I love and accept myself just as I am.”

2. You create your future.

We create our future based on present thoughts, emotions, and circumstances. A knowledgeable psychic can tell you where you’re headed at the present moment, but you hold the reins—kind of like when a GPS gives you three possible routes to choose from. Some paths are more likely than others based on what you’re currently creating in your life. The key here is to remember that you have the power to move forward in whatever way you’d like. You can change your future.

Put It to Use: Imagine the future you’d like to create for five minutes each day. Picture what you want your life to look like and feel like.

3. Learn the lessons.

Sometimes, bad stuff does happen to us. We get into an accident, we lose our job, we’re diagnosed with an illness, or someone we love passes away. Every situation, no matter how negative it looks on the surface, can be spun into gold. We can challenge ourselves to stop negative patterns, help others, and change for good. The darkness can help us discover our light.

Put It to Use: Journal about the issue and answer the questions, “What am I learning from this?” and “How can I turn this pain into something positive?”

4. Our deceased loved ones are with us in spirit.

Psychics who communicate with the dead are called psychic mediums. A medium can provide you with validation, but you don’t necessarily need one to talk to your loved ones in spirit. We all have the ability to communicate with the deceased—they are right there whenever you think of them.

Put It to Use: Ask your loved ones in spirit for a unique sign. It doesn’t have to be a penny or a feather—it’s OK to think outside the box. It can be something unique and silly like a doughnut or chicken. Watch how quickly you get your sign. Pay attention if you start dreaming of deceased loved ones out of the blue, as that is usually a sign from the other side too.

5. You are intuitive.

We are all intuitive. When something isn’t right, you will feel it in your gut, like a weight in your belly. If something is right for you, you will usually feel butterflies or lightness in your heart center. Your intuitive nudges are valid and should be trusted. Deep down, you always know what’s best for you.

Put It to Use: Set aside time to sit in silence and meditate. Then, while you’re in silence, think about a question. Does it cause you to feel heavy or scared? Does it make you feel light and confident? Trust your own answers.