Do you know a person who seems to drain all the positive energy out of a room simply by entering it? Or maybe you are someone that people hates but you don’t know it? Toxic person is easy to identify… Whether they are the first person to complain about stale bagels at a morning meeting or the friend who regularly hijacks the attention of the group, it’s easy to spot these draining behaviors in the people we know and interact with on a daily basis.
However, it’s not as simple to take a look at your own reactions and ask yourself if you, not your friend or coworker, are a toxic person? Are you mystified when close friends start to back away from you? Do you get frustrated when colleagues find a way to work around you, instead of with you? Do you wonder what’s wrong with the people you know? If you have asked yourself these questions, it may be time to ask yourself if you are a toxic person.
Are you controlling?
No one likes to be told what to do, how to do it and when to get it done. However, if you aren’t at the office or parenting your children, it’s important to give your friends and family members the space they need to be individuals. You need to take a step back from manipulating people and situations. Instead, concentrate on building strong connections that improve communication. Ultimately, it will be these links that will help you build more meaningful and mutually beneficial relationships.
Are you jealous?
Does the green-eyed monster rear its ugly head at the least bit of provocation? Frequently, jealousy can be traced by to deeply held insecurities. If you don’t feel that you are worthy, you may feel that your partner will be quick to betray you or that your boss will overlook you for the next big promotion. These feelings may cause you to lash out and act in ways that will limit you. Don’t let envy fuel your emotions. It’s rather hard to see clearly through the green lens of jealousy.
Do You Focus on the Negative?
While you don’t have to look at life through rose-colored glasses, it can become spiritually wearing to focus on the negative. If you find that the conversations with your friends turn into one-sided vent sessions about everything that has gone wrong for you, you might find that your friends start to distance themselves from you.
Do You Focus on Yourself?
What do you know about the highs and lows of other people’s lives? Analyze some of your recent conversations to see if it covered a back-and-forth exchange of information, or if it was all about you. Be especially careful not to reply to every comment regarding your friend’s life, with a relatable example that turns to focus back to you.
If you find that you might be the toxic person in your life, it’s time to take steps to turn your outlook around. You don’t want to be the one responsible for sabotaging your important relationships at home, or at work. With a heavy dose of honesty, courage and willingness to change, you can stop being your own worst enemy and become a healthy and happy friend, lover and coworker