Almost everyone has heard the statement, “opposites attract,” but the truth is, this isn’t always a reality. There are people that are more attracted to other people that have similar characteristics that they have than people that are opposite.
Sometimes a person is attracted to someone like them but then later in the relationship the opposite traits seem to stand out. People that are of all ages look for partners and they are often looking for people based on the opposite traits that they have because of this idea of opposites attracting.
Not all people that are drawn to you are going to be romantic partners to you. This can depend on a lot of different things.
People Like You
Science has studied the idea of love and if opposites really attract or not. Research has found that there are people that are attracted to similar or opposite characteristics when looking for love. Science talks about three different kinds of attraction including homogamy hypothesis, heterogamy hypothesis and complementarity hypothesis.
Homogamy has been termed since the 50’s and it shows that there are people that are looking for those that are similar to them in personality, interests, values, goals, and attitudes. This kind of attraction can help those that are looking for love to find a partner.
People are attracted to similarities in almost all cultures. This happens because people that are in committed relationships are often looking for what is termed assortative mating. This is a way that people that are similar are attached to people in physical appearances, finances, and education.
This doesn’t mean that this is set in stone and that opposites don’t ever attract. It does say though that if the hypothesis is true then more similar than opposites attract to each other.
Strengths and Weaknesses
Sometimes people will find a partner that will help them to strengthen their weaknesses and someone that will support their strengths. You might have a partner that is funny, and you are serious or one that is loud, and you are quiet. This helps partners to balance each other out.
One partners weakness can be helped by their partners strengths and vice versa. This sometimes happens without anyone even realizing that they are picking out a partner that complements them. There are other people that will look for someone that has the same religious, politics, education, and other traits that they share.
People that are looking for a mate will often write their biography seeking someone that has the same traits that they show.
Why Do Opposites Attract?
Even though there is evidence that shows that opposites don’t always attract, even when there are people that are together that are similar, they might end up being more different than they realized. They might argue different and have smaller differences that they didn’t know at first.
One person might have a little more humor than their partner and this can make one of the partners be the clown and the other person being serious even though they are both funny and both serious. This happens because as they get closer, they complement each other more and more.
People attract to different things and if you find someone that is attracted to your similar traits, chances are that opposites might not attract as much as was thought in the past.
The article touches on the complementarity hypothesis, which I find equally important. Balancing each other’s strengths and weaknesses can be beneficial.
The reference to assortative mating aligns with evolutionary theories. People naturally gravitate towards those with similar socioeconomic backgrounds.
I appreciate how the article doesn’t entirely dismiss the idea of opposites attracting. Relationships are multifaceted and can’t always be explained by one hypothesis.
The article does well in summarizing the various hypotheses around attraction. It would be interesting to explore how cultural contexts influence these dynamics.
It’s interesting that even similar people can reveal differences over time. This adds complexity to the idea of ‘opposites attract.’
The nuances of attraction—be it similarity or complementarity—highlight the complexity of human relationships. There is no one-size-fits-all answer.
The concept of homogamy and its impact on long-term relationships is quite intriguing. It makes sense that people seek partners with similar values and goals.
Absolutely, shared values often lay a solid foundation for a lasting relationship.
The homogeny hypothesis has been around since the 50s, which suggests it has some empirical backing. I wonder how newer studies perceive it.