Deep inside… We are craving to find our soulmate who will be there and never let go no matter what, Someone who will understand us with all our craziness, Someone who will make us live a better life but discovering how to find a soul mate is a series of letting go of and embracing different ideas.
Thanks to the movies and all the other media we are bombarded with, we tend to think finding a soul mate will be about the externals… having awesome hair or a perfect body… But it’s really about changing your mindset and opening yourself up to all the possibilities YOUR life has to offer; seeing life through a new lens, with a new perspective.
How to Find a Soul Mate
1. Change your belief system
Let go of the belief that you must attract him/her. Just let it go. Imagine this limiting belief floating on a cloud getting further and further away. Poof! Gone.
Now take a breathe. Allow yourself to feel lighter.You and your soul mate already contracted with one another before you incarnated to be “the one” for each other.
Trust me, the Universe is going to make sure that you will meet and that you will be drawn to one another. So you can relax about that. Imagine the universe as the most helpful assistant ever that is on top of every detail! I mean, it does keep the earth spinning on its axis and all 🙂
2. Let go of the search
Have you been like Dora the Explorer on a search to find your soul mate? If so, one of the best things you can do is LET IT GO. I know, letting go of the search seems counterintuitive, but it’s the way the Universe works. The more desperate you become to find a soul mate, the LESS likely you are to connect with them.
It works like this: The universe gives us more of what we focus on. So, if you are constantly focusing on not having a soul mate, or where to find a soul mate, your attention is on lack of what you have.
So what’s the universe gonna bring ya? More lack. Letting go of searching is the one thing you MUST do if you want to find a soul mate. Remember, he or she is already out there. You have a sacred contract that you agreed to before you incarnated into your physical bodies. Now, you need to relax and let the universe do the heavy lifting.
3. Let go of the notion of “getting”
Is your focus on what you need, what you want? Remember that being in a relationship—a long-lasting, loving one—is much more about giving than getting. This is going to sound corny and cliche, but…
Start to consider how you can complete yourself. That does NOT mean you won’t find a soul mate. Remember how we talked about how you need to stop focusing on lack to find a soul mate? This is one way to do it. This shifts the energy back to YOU.
Learn what it is you really need at a soul level and then work on meeting that deep need yourself.
- Live in gratitude for what you already have.
- Journal about all of the wonderful qualities you possess. Fall in love with yourself first.
- Get really comfortable and excited about what all you have to offer your soul mate — what you will have to give them when they arrive.
This one tweak in perspective can totally shift your energy and open universal doors.
4. Let go of the idea that your soul mate is going to be perfect
No one is perfect. Not you, not me, not even Beyonce. Of course, rationally we all know that, but often in our longing to find a soul mate, we romanticize what it will be like. We watch The Notebook and fantasize about the perfection of being deeply in love. But this is your wake up call.
A soul mate isn’t what you see in the movies. It’s a relationship that has some kinks to work out. You and your soul mate have past karma, so you decided to connect deeply in this lifetime to work them out. Don’t get me wrong. A soul mate relationship can be a dream – a delightful bed of roses! But it’s possible you’ll get stuck with a thorn now and then 🙂 So maybe you find a soul mate, but he doesn’t write you lipstick messages on the mirror. Does that mean he’s not the “one”? Of course not!
Maybe instead of writing poetry he brings you chicken soup when you have the flu. Okay, so maybe he doesn’t make the soup, he pours it out of a can and pops it in the microwave. So what? He’s not perfect, but he tried. Or maybe when you go to the mall to try on a bazillion pairs of jeans, he holds your pocket book. That’s love, people.
The point is: Don’t discount someone just because you see all their flaws. Let your heart guide you—it knows your soul mate’s soul and will connect when you are open to it.
5. Embrace your unique self
I mentioned this above, but it bears repeating. In our society, we are kinda obsessed with the external. What’s really important though is the internal—the true us, the soul us.
We often hide our real self because we are afraid it will be shunned or laughed at. But I’m here to tell you to let your freak flag fly! Be your true, real, unique self!
- So you like to wear shorts when it’s 20 degrees outside.
- You collect supplies from the craft store but have never scrapbooked a page, big whoop.
- You’re 35 years old and still like to write with glitter pens (who doesn’t?).
- Keys? Yeah, you can never remember where you put them.
These little quirks that make you YOU are the qualities that your soul mate will find endearing.
Remember, you’ll find a soul mate no matter what —the Universe will see to that! Embracing your unique YOU will prepare you for being a fully-engaged soul mate partner when the perfect time has come.
6. Embrace manifestation
You are a manifesting machine, whether you realize it or not. The important thing to embrace first is that you manifest everything in your life, depending on what you focus on, what you think about, what you say, what you embrace.
So start manifesting wholeness and fulfillment in your life. Image what it will feel like being with your soul mate and then manifest that, instead of more of what you are lacking.
7. Embrace your path
Some people are in a holding pattern, just killing time until “the one” shows up.
If you are tapping your toes and not moving forward in your life because you are afraid you will make the wrong choice—a choice that leads you away from your soul mate instead of towards them, make a change! Shake things up!
Remember, the Universe is going to make sure you connect with your soul mate. Your job is to live your authentic life! That’s when you will find a soul mate.
8. Embrace the relationship
Just because you are soul mates doesn’t mean that everything needs to happen at the speed of light. Trust, and let things unfold naturally. In the meantime, relax.
Focus on enjoying your own company and your own authentic life and you’ll notice you stop wondering how to find a soul mate…and that’s when they will appear in your life!