It’s hard to say no to some people. Usually, that’s because we feel the need to explain why. If you’re prone to avoiding conflict (like me), you probably find it really hard to say “no” to a person who is going to scrutinize your decision.We all know someone like this. Maybe you have a demanding teenager, or a friend who’s always asking for outlandish favors you, in reality, don’t want to do.
The “Will You Babysit My Kids” No
Have you ever had a friend, neighbor or family member ask you to babysit their kids? It can be really hard to say no, but you can still refuse without feeling like a jerk. Maybe you’re not comfortable around children. Maybe you don’t like children. What if they get hurt or sick while in your care? Maybe you don’t want that kind of responsibility. Maybe you have plans. Whatever the reason, you don’t have to feel obligated to watch someone else’s children. If someone misses an appointment or a date because you said no, don’t feel guilty. Their children are their responsibility, not yours.
The “Will You Work Late” No
When your boss asks you to work late or on the weekends, do you say yes when you really want to say no? No one wants to work overtime, especially when they aren’t getting paid for it. And even if you do get paid extra, working overtime really disrupts your work-life balance. So say “no” if you don’t want to put in extra time, especially if you were never told the job required overtime. And even if you knew the job required overtime when you took it, you can still say no. But you may want to think about looking for another job with a better work-life balance.
It’s nice to have a giving spirit, but if you donated money to every charity your friends, family, co-workers and acquaintances supported, you’d go broke. So how do you say no without feeling like an unfeeling miser? You can allot a certain amount of money each month or each year to charity and then dole it out as you see fit. Some causes are more important to you than they are to others. What matters is that you are giving something.
The “Can You Loan Me Some Money” No
Whether it’s a few dollars, a few hundred or a few thousand, loaning money can cause a lot of problems, yet people ask their friends or family for money all the time. If someone is asking to borrow money, it may be because they think you won’t hound them about paying you back or perhaps you’ll consider it a gift and not a loan. Don’t loan anyone money in the first place, but if you do, make sure you get it in writing when and how they will pay you back! You don’t have to give someone money just because they ask for it. You’ve worked hard for it. You’ve earned it. It’s yours.
The “Let’s Get Together for a Last-Minute, Late-Night Date” No
It’s great when someone you’re attracted to asks you out. It’s not so great when they do it at the last minute and late at night, otherwise known as a “booty call.” If you’re looking for more than late-night sex, you’ll want to turn this invitation down. If regret sets in, remember, it’s not a missed opportunity to get to know them better or to launch a long-term relationship. If you don’t say no to this invitation, you are saying no to a long-term relationship with someone else and you are saying yes to a casual hookup with someone who isn’t really interested in getting to know you.
Say no. Say it with confidence and say it without regrets.