As the attractive collegiate that you are, you’re probably meeting your fair share of swoon-worthy guys. Whether you’re at school, on break, or even in the local Starbucks, you’re definitely turning heads. With all of these exciting prospects at your fingertips, you’re bound to score a few first dates (or maybe just one, if you find someone special!).
But just as often, there are those times when you discover that you have nothing in common with that person across the table. Even worse is the cancelled date, the no-show, or that hoped-for date that doesn’t happen. It’s all about how you hold and nurture each of these first date experiences:
Their Looks and Charm Make You Nervous
You’ve let your nerves get the best of you and now you’ve done something embarrassing and want to crawl under the table. Don’t! Instead, keep your sense of humor. Who doesn’t love a person who can laugh off spilling wine on their clothes, or just about anything that’s completely human?
Admitting that your nervous on a first date is not only flattering to that desirable creature, but you’ll be disarming in your honestly. They’re probably nervous too and this can really lighten the mood. They’re certainly human just like you, so they’ll probably be relieved that you’ve made the first mistake. That’s how we bond as humans—by meeting someone else’s humanness.
They’re Boring, Self-Absorbed or Boorish
Make the most of your first date by being polite and attentive. Maybe after a bit of time together you’ll discover an interesting or attractive side of them. Perhaps they’re misbehaving because their nervous. But if the evening ends and you still know this isn’t someone you want to spend time with again, you’ll at least be proud of yourself for giving them a shot and you’ll have learned the art of patience—an important social skill in anyone’s repertoire.
They’ve Cancelled at the Last Minute
First dates get cancelled at the last minute for a lot of reasons, including legitimate excuses like family emergencies or work issues. Just let them be the one to make the next move and ask you out again when their life calms down. They better show up on time next time—they owe you that at the very least! But if they cancel for no good reason, don’t agree to go out with them again. Who needs someone like that in their life?
They’re a No-Show
If your waiting for a date who never shows up, you should just forget about them, right? Well unless they had an emergency and couldn’t get to a phone, there’s no need to see them again. If they tell you they had the wrong day or just forgot they had a date with you, you need to go with your gut on this. If you feel like they’re being honest and are making a sincere attempt to make things right, agree to reschedule your first date. But if you feel like they are being dishonest, don’t make future plans with them.
The First Date That Will Never Happen
You could be attracted to someone and hoping they’ll ask you out. That doesn’t mean they will. Maybe they’re already in a relationship or maybe you’re not their type. Whatever the reason, don’t stay at home on a Saturday night hoping they’ll come around. Instead, go out with friends and have a good time. Maybe you’ll meet your soulmate or someone who will make you completely forget about your crush.
First dates can be the most exciting dates of your life, but you have to approach them with a positive attitude. The good ones can lead to long-term love, and the bad ones can teach you so much. If you open yourself up to happiness and disappointment, you will grow into a better person. An remember, you’re already with the perfect person—yourself! So while you’re looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, cultivate a good relationship with yourself.